On not getting married in my 20s

Dearest Reader,

As I was reflecting on my 20s with my friend, she pointed out some of my major milestones over the years, one of which was not getting married.

I was, indeed, very close to getting married. In other words, I was engaged.

As Jerry Seinfeld once pointed out quite wonderfully,  “if you’re engaged and you don’t wanna get married … it’s a little tense.

It’s like you’re on that first hill of the roller-coaster but you don’t really wanna go on the ride…”

I remember my mother starting a piggy bank for me when I was still in primary school. “This is for your wedding dress“, she said.

Like many other women, I was taught that marriage is one of the most important accomplishments in my life. I must get married, it will be the happiest day of my life, and I won’t be complete without a ring on my finger.

So it was certainly tempting to get married. It was all right there in front of me.

I could finally announce to everyone: GIRLS! I MADE IT!

I would have had that big party and be the princess for a day in a beautiful white gown. My parents would cry happy tears, everyone would applaud me, I’d never be alone again, and I could have as many cats as I like as long as a man was in the house!

But I thought about what my life would be like when the party is over. The dress goes to dust in a closet. My parents fly home. The new family scatters all over town and we will meet once a year. More than loving all the glamour, I had to decide whether I loved the life without it.

So in the end, I didn’t get married. Because sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do.

The moral of the story? Destroy whatever piggy bank has been started for you. Get married because you want to, not because everyone else wants you to.

And if you feel good about getting married, have all the glamour and cats you want!

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