It is common knowledge that alcohol solves none of your problems, and that it is unhealthy to deal with emotional distress by consuming mind-numbing substances.
I too try to deal with life as it comes, with the help of rational thinking, planning, organising and patience. But there are moments and things that you have no control over, and you know you need a strong drink to digest what has just happened to you. Because after all, when you have no solution, not drinking doesn’t help, either.
The first instance are financial kicks in the balls. This can range from backhanded pay increases of $1 per hour, which are more of an insult than an incentive, to rent increases for the home you are currently residing in.
The upsetting part about both is that there is not much you can do in either situation, other than leave the job or home. And we both know, dearest reader, that that’s too much of a hassle. What is easier is to crack open a beer and cheers to this crappy day!
Another example is when your partner is testing your patience. They might be having a bad day, they might be unreasonable or they might just be beyond the usual level of bitchiness.
Here’s the thing. You can’t tell them that they are being an ass right now because they’ll hold it over your head forever, nor can you sink to their level and be equally unreasonable because it will escalate into unimaginable depths of ugliness. So you just sit, quietly, and take it, while you sip on something that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Finally, big, massive, unanticipated news. Your sibling is getting married. Or even worse, your parent is getting divorced to marry someone else. Someone died. Someone broke up. With you. Or worse of all, you find out you accidentally fell pregnant, which is a double whammy because now you can’t even have a drink to digest this piece of shit information.
So, when life really is testing you, and there is nothing you can do to mitigate the problem or make the situation better in any way, there is no reason not to drink.
Cheers to life, in all its God damn weirdness!