The Sado-Maso of Adulthood

Dearest Reader,

One of the toughest parts of adulthood is that you need to make yourself do things that are emotionally painful.

It is emotionally painful to get out of bed on a Sunday to do the laundry.

It is emotionally painful to go to work every day.

It is emotionally painful to call the dentist and make an appointment, because you’re due.

It is emotionally painful not to tell a fellow human being that you are not interested in the story they are currently narrating.

It is emotionally painful not to spend all your money on beer and cookies.

It is emotionally painful to compromise with another human being to build a successful, long-term relationship.

It is emotionally painful to shower every day.

It is emotionally painful to adopt a healthy lifestyle that includes vegetables and exercise when the opposite is so much easier.

So how can you master this skill of acing a life that is clearly filled with painful things we prefer not to do?

Louis CK once said that God and his actions make much more sense when you don’t imagine him as a great, perfect being, but the opposite. In the same way, the secret to making sense of life is to treat it a little more 50 Shades of Grey-ish, by being the masochist that simply finds little joys in the pains of adulthood, and by imagining adulthood is a merciless but sexy mistress.

That way, instead of giving into really wanting to order delivery, you’ll remind yourself that you love whipping yourself into the kitchen and cooking dinner. Because at least, the mistress will reward you with extra money in the savings account.

And instead of letting yourself go, you pretend that eating carrot sticks is the kind of pain that is pleasure, and you get little sick kicks out of doing squats instead of wolfing down a glazed Krispy Kreme Donut. In return, the mistress will reward you with a decent digestive system and a handful of endorphins to get you through the day.

In conclusion, while you can’t make adulthood any easier, you can simply change your view. It’s not supposed to be easy. In fact, if it doesn’t hurt, you’re not doing it right.

So just take the spanking and try to enjoy it somehow.

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