Like any good female my age, I recently opened my wardrobe only to find it full of clothes and yet with nothing to wear. I realised that I have many things, but nothing that is truly wearable day to day. Why? Why are women like this?
I have answers.
Reason #1: Special Occasions
I had an extensive selection of ‘special occasions’ dresses. Often, they were expensive, uncomfortable and really never served any purpose other than the said special occasion.
How many special occasions are there really in everyday life? It is the harsh truth that my life, and your life, is generally mundane; you don’t have 10 special occasions a year, each requiring a different dress.
The only special occasions I truly treasure are my days off work with no other social engagements. They are the stuff I live for. And they are spent in bed, in my pyjamas, eating nachos and watching the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Reason #2: Skinnier Days
I have had a pair of jeans I yearned to fit into since I was 17.
Then I realised – how can a 29-year old woman possible fit into what a 17-year old fits into?
Sure, I was 5kg lighter then.
But over the past 12 years, I’ve grown a bosom, an ass and some hips, and these hips are made of bones, and you can’t squeeze bone structures into denim.
In fact, skinny jeans are in your wardrobe only to make you anxious, guilty and feel fat. Eat the damn cookie, embrace your feminine body and throw them out!
Reason #3: Clubbing
I hate staying out late, I hate cheap drinks out of plastic cups and I hate getting my ass grabbed by drunk strangers. Why am I still keeping clothes for this?
Reason #4: Who I wish I were
I used to own a whole range of business attire. Jackets, pencil skirts, heels to match, fancy blouses and purses – all designed to become a CEO and make some serious money in the corporate world.
That is who I always hoped I’d be. The cold-hearted business woman who has a fancy lifestyle of wealth, luxury and diamonds everywhere.
But truth be told, it’s not who I really am. The real me hates the corporate world, hates wearing heels to work and cries when she forgets her homemade lunch at home. And she doesn’t need pencil skirts for that.
So, dearest reader, look at your closet – is it you, or who you wish you were? Is it your life, or the special occasions you wish you had? Because there is nothing wrong with just being yourself.
Even if that means selling that fancy Karen Millen designer dress and instead buying a cosy new pyjama for nacho night.