Decisions

Dearest Reader,

Arguably, one of the most difficult things about adulthood is decision making.

It is almost impossible to get through a day without having to make decisions, and some of these actually keep us up at night because we worry about consequences and potentially irreversible mistakes, like accidental ingestion of questionable food that will shortly lead to a brand new bonding experience with one’s bathroom.

However, many decisions are actually not that significant and there is no need to waste precious moments or brain power. It has been an ongoing challenge for me to identify these and speed up these irritating tasks to free up time to do more fun things, like eating cookies or watching Gilmore Girls. I want to share some insights with you.

Decision 1: Which yoghurt should I buy?

There are almost an infinite number of yoghurt flavours and sizes with varying fat and probiotic content, and it can actually take a lot of time to choose. I will be honest; I am not sure what I’m actually looking for – are probiotics necessary? How much fat should a yoghurt have? Do I need to pay attention to sugar levels, preservatives and all the other things that are said to lead to a slow, painful death?

I quickly decided it is highly unlikely that a yoghurt will kill me or in any way impact my health significantly, so I went with ‘whatever is cheap’.

Decision 2: Should I exercise today?

There are a number of advantages and disadvantages to weigh up.

Disadvantages of exercising: it’s exhausting, annoying, sweaty and boring

Disadvantages of not exercising: death

After careful consideration, I decided yes, let’s exercise.

Decision 3: Do I really need another beer?

The short answer is no. Nobody ‘needs’ a beer.

You never go to a doctor and hear them say: “M’am, you know what you need? You need a beer.”

The long answer is you’ll always find an excuse why you need another beer.
Because sometimes, dearest reader, your soul needs a beer.
And luckily, when you’re already kind of tipsy, decisions are made fast, irresponsibly and regardless of one’s financial situation. Cheers!

Decision 4: Do I want children?

Let me be frank with you, dearest reader. Take a good, hard look at our species.

How many of us do you think are truly the result of decisions, versus all of us who were accidents that our parents lovingly disguise as ‘surprises’, ‘miracles’ and ‘blessings’?

If we were to gather a bunch of parents into a room, got them heavily intoxicated and then asked them to be brutally honest about their family planning, wouldn’t we discover that shockingly, 1 out of 2 children were not decisions?

Regardless of whether this is actually true, it has been a liberating theory for me.
Your decision doesn’t matter, so why bother thinking about it?

Instead, just have another beer and relax!

 

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